Dealing with difficult people can fry your last nerve.
Effective communication is often considered the cornerstone of a successful business. However, that skill may be more challenging when dealing with difficult people. A difficult person may be defensive, aggressive or excessively needy. As you try to maintain the structural integrity of the communication cornerstone, you can follow a couple of steps to make the process easier.
Instructions
1. Listen actively to what people have to say. According to a study by the University of Missouri, we spend 80 percent of our day engaged in conversation, of which 45 percent is spent listening. Unfortunately, most people are terrible at listening, retaining about 10 percent of what is said in a conversation. Make an effort to really understand what the difficult person is saying by taking mental notes, and rephrasing major points after the speaker has finished, to ensure you grasp the concept he is trying to convey.
2. Ask questions. While engaging a difficult individual may seem about as much fun as putting your head in a hornet's nest, the process of clarification is an essential one in maintaining effective communication. Don't be afraid to ask about something you do not understand, as this can improve your understanding of the difficult individual's concerns, allowing you to act more effectively on the problem. While the individual may be initially irritated by your queries, he will be far more irritated if, because you did not understand, you make a blunder down the line and fail to deliver.
3. Sympathize with the difficult individual's concerns. One of the greatest human needs, according to Ralph G. Nichols, author of "Are You Listening?," is to be understood. Affirming the sentiments of the difficult person can make her feel understood and appreciated, which in turn may soften her demeanor toward you. For example, you might say to the person, "I absolutely understand your frustration. If I were in your shoes, I would be upset as well."
4. Provide insight into the situation in a patient and gentle manner. Difficult people are likely to get upset if they feel they are being judged, so execute this step with tact. Identify possible solutions to the problem and avoid placing blame. The best way to convey a suggestion is to isolate a reason why taking action is imperative, provide easy steps she can take, and give a motive for acting in an expedient manner.
For example, if someone was complaining about an intra-office squabble, after expressing sympathy, you might say, "Well, you still have to work with him. Maybe you should try to talk to him about this issue. If you're too frustrated, consider writing down why you're upset."
If the problem is something you have to deal with directly, identify your level of blame in the situation and acknowledge it. Explain what you will do to remedy the situation, and apologize for your role. Don't promise too much or take all the blame. You should not submit yourself to self-flagellation.
5. Remove yourself from the situation, if possible, once you've communicated your sympathy and advice. Difficult people are often looking for allies, and this can develop into a toxic relationship. Help yourself avoid drama by politely bowing out of the conversation once pertinent topics have been covered.
If you have promised to take action on a problem, politely touch base with the difficult individual in question once this action has been completed. Apologize again, and express your hopes that the individual is satisfied.
