Conflict in the workplace is always challenging. Conflict with a coworker who has a reputation for being angry, difficult and generally hostile can be especially hard if you have to work together closely. When that anger gets turned on you, it can be a disturbing and even scary situation. You wonder if the tension will remain for the rest of the time you work together. You wonder if you might end up having to leave your job because of the situation. You might even wonder if the anger will turn into physical violence. Don't despair. There are civil solutions that will help address such unfortunate incidents.
Instructions
1. Decide whether the problem will go away on its own or needs resolution.
2. Calm down. Two angry people is worse than one angry person and makes a bad working situation.
3. Plan an approach to talk with the angry coworker. Your approach will vary depending on the work situation.
4. Keep a record of any interaction with your angry coworker, in the event things escalate at any point. nclude names, dates, times, and what was said.
5. Approach the coworker in the way least likely to incite more anger. This may be by email or in person, or by bringing in a third party. However, most conflict between two people can be resolved without bringing in moderators.
6. Suggest a private place to meet to talk in person. In person is best, because email tends to generate misunderstandings. A lunch hour spent in a place where you won't get interrupted by other workmates is ideal. Don't suggest meeting outside of work; the idea is likely to spur mistrust.
7. Be calm and civil as you address the person when you suggest the place to meet. Tell him that you would like to talk with him away from other coworkers in order to resolve some concerns. You can mention that you believe he also has concerns.
8. Tell the coworker you are aware that there is a conflict between you. Tell her that you would like to a chance to say what you think the conflict is, and then you would like to hear what she thinks the conflict is, and then you hope you both can talk about it. Give her the option to go first.
9. Give her the option, too, of not talking about it at all if she is not comfortable with it. If she is, then that is a good sign; she very likely will respond to your efforts to resolve the conflict.
10. Discuss your differing interpretations of the source of the conflict. It is likely that this discussion alone will clear up misunderstandings or diffuse tension as each of you gets a chance to vent.
11. Keep the discussion free of hostilities, if you can. Try not to interrupt. Try to give your coworker a chance to speak as much as he wants to. Try not to defend yourself angrily. This is not an opportunity to attack. This is an opportunity to hear what is in your coworker's mind, to get your coworker to think about the problem rationally, and to convince the coworker to trust you.
12. Don't be too formal when you talk with your angry coworker. This can give him the impression that you are acting like his boss. Speak naturally, as you would to a friendly acquaintance or a friendly coworker. You want to speak to him and treat him as you would like to be treated.
13. Suggest that together you work on brainstorming solutions to the conflict. If your coworker is agreeable, you can do this together in whatever way you wish--writing things out, talking on the phone or more talking at lunchtime. It does not have to be done that day. If you have gotten this far, you are very likely to resolve this conflict together. You may, in time, even become work friends.
14. Wait and see before taking other measures if the discussion with the angry coworker fails to resolve the conflict, or if you experience roadblocks in future discussions. The talking that you have done already might have dissipated some of her anger.
15. Talk to a supervisor you trust about the problem if the situation remains unresolved and looks to continue or worsen.
