Friday, May 29, 2015

Put Humor In Menopause

One has to wonder why menopause hasn't fallen under the term temporary insanity. When menopause rolls around, women walk that fine line of insanity. Actually, there is no line; we are totally insane. Your family will be certain you have lost your mind and you will be sure to tell them to kiss off! Still, there are some things we can do to maintain at least a somewhat unsteady grip on our sense of humor, while everything else goes to hell! We can get a few laughs along the way.


Instructions


1. When the kids ask why you're laughing and crying at the same time, tell them you're on your period, they'll leave you alone.


2. Remember everything isn't a crisis. It just seems like it is; so go ahead and scream.


3. The family has stepped on your last nerve, you're trying to do ten things at once, the television is too loud and you're about to explode. While drying a knife, stand in the middle of the room, tilt your head to one side and once certain you have the family's attention, smile, nod and walk away. It will scare them into silence.


4. Lack of focus is one of the many symptoms of menopause; but being scatter-brained can be entertaining. When the family laughs at your inability to maintain a focal point, laugh along with them. It will lighten your mood and help you see the silliness of it.


5. Lost the grocery list again? Improvise and create something outrageous. And get used to it because you'll find yourself doing it often. The kids won't complain after the first major explosion.


6. Psychological stress is just part of this mental meltdown. Remember to breathe, then laugh, shake your head and get back in there!


7. Instead of emotional tantrums break into a dance.


8. When you're having a very unbalanced day and there's too much to do, take one errand at a time. If the family is making it harder, tell them in a raging scream that you're losing your mind, then go hide while you listen to them running away.


9. While sobbing uncontrollably and simultaneously feeling the urge to rip someone's eyes out, destroy something that can be replaced and watch the reactions of your family.


10. Celebrate at least once a month. After all, you haven't killed any of them yet.